8/03/2009

secrets

Permanent link to this comic: http://xkcd.com/46/



I have a secret to tell. If I tell it to you, you have to pinkie swear to not laugh at me when you see me in Target. If I tell it to you and you have a secret to share, I hope you share it with someone today. You see, telling your own secrets is liberating and will send a happy tingle down your spine.

Last night something miraculous happened. Something of the likes which has not occurred since the birth of my third child, five years ago:

Everyone in my house slept in their own bed.

Take a breath and just sit with that sentence. Okay?

Madison slept in her newly completed bedroom in the basement.
Ellie slept in her own room alone in her own bed.
Benjamin slept alone for the first time since he was born, in his own room, in his own bed.
Dave and I slept together in our room with the door closed.

For 1 hour.

Then, Dave's snoring kicked me to the couch. His C-Pap machine is in for repairs and without it I am unable to slumber through the rumbles. At 2:30am, Ellie awoke to the lightening and thunderstorm show and ended up in my, now cold, spot in the bed. But, we did it and I am thrilled.

I have been dreaming of this sleeping arrangement for many years, and admit I have been quite shameful to admit to anyone how our family sleeps at night. Up until now, Madison slept in her bed or in the recliner, depending on when she fell asleep.

Ellie rarely makes it a full night without waking up with 'nightmares' and finds someone to snuggle into bed with. She does, at least, start the night out in her own bed without too much of a fuss.

Ben has slept with me since the moment he was born. At first it was to save my sanity. Anyone who has breastfed an infant will know the lengths we go to for extra sleep. Having your baby tucked in beside you and being able to roll over and feed him when he just starts to wake up is a sanity saver. And, Ben is a major snuggler. Her has always searched for the warmth of a body to sooth and calm him. When Ben was weaned, we just continued our strange sleeping habits because it. was. working.

I am a firm believer in doing what works. NOT what works for you, or your neighbor, or the well meaning aunt once-removed. Sleep is very important to the members of my home and we will do almost anything to ensure a full night of zzzzzzzz's.

Why now? Because I felt it was time to make the change. Time to gently teach Ben how to trust himself and seek his own strength for comfort ......... but with his door open and the hallway light on.

Why now? Because it is high time my husband and I get back to snuggling up and talking or not talking and just simply sharing uninterrupted time together as the day comes to an end. Because I miss having my buddy right there next to me. Because it was time.

Why tell? Because it feels good to take a deep breath, write it all out and document how I felt when it all happened.

Now, go tell someone a secret ......... you'll feel so much better for it.

Sweet Dreams!

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