10/08/2009

gifts

I love receiving gifts. I love picking out gifts for others. The only negative to a gift is if the giver does so with ulterior motives ........ something other than the pure joy of letting someone know you have been thinking of them. The receiver of a gift has a job as well; to accept with gratitude.

In the last 24 hours, I have been handed 2 gifts. One I have prayed for and one spontaneous.

Madison gave me the first gift last night. She was having trouble sleeping and came up the stairs to my bedroom. As she opened the door, I knew something was troubling her, and Dave must have sensed it also. Dave offered to allow Maddi to snuggle in with me for the night while he took her bed in the basement. He knows I have been struggling with open conversation with Maddi and I think he knew if he left us, she would start talking. It was instant ....... it was truthful ....... it was my daughter delivering the gift I prayed for. Simply, she felt safe enough to talk to me and have a conversation about how she was feeling rather than how she was doing. All parents know the difference, right? I listened carefully and advised when prompted. No concerns out of the ordinary for an 11 year old starting middle school and dealing with the confusing mixture of hormones no longer dormant. Just a girl, her mom and some meaningful conversations about life. Thank you Madison for the gift I have been praying for.

The second gift arrived this morning, without warning or forethought. I was hustling the kids along this dreary morning and was just out the door when Ellie announced her tummy hurt. Ellie uses this malady often when she is nervous about something or needs to grab your attention in order to get some attention for herself. I tried to remain calm and in the moment, but my thoughts flashed to: "Really Today? Thursday is my busy day! Can't we do this tomorrow?" I actually DID ask her if she would be willing to take a personal day on Friday in turn for going to school today. No dice. Ellie needed me today ..... now ...... not when it was convenient for me.

I took a deep breath and drove right through the school drop-off lane. Back at home, I first explained to Ellie I would spend some time with her today, talk her through her anxieties and just 'be' with her. I did stress we couldn't do this everyday, and school is important, but knowing you need me is equally as important.

Today has been wonderful. Spending some quiet time just going from one thing to the next. Thank you Ellie for the gift I didn't know I needed.

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