In order for my children to remain unharmed by a crazy lady, I email my husband at work just so I can ‘vent’ a little bit, take a breath and then get back to mothering my children without thinking bad thoughts about them. This morning, only day 2 of summer vacation, I needed to vent: (some parts of the message removed to protect my deepest, darkest secrets)
It’s the second day of summer vacation and only the first(!) email I am sending you! Do I get a prize if I keep it under 10 for the duration of the endless weeks?
Sorry about my attitude this morning. I am trying really hard to not wake up thinking about the lack of money and not letting it run my thoughts for the day.
B and E are playing marvelously, but M is already moping around. “Playing school just wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be”, (read…..B and E won’t listen to everything I tell them to do). She then wanted a friend over, but I explained I didn’t want her complaining about B and E playing downstairs and being loud. She sighed, Then she wanted to go to the movie UP, and I had to say no. Then she wanted a movie and candy day at home. No. I suggested several options and then explained to her that is causes my pain to know she is unhappy and waiting for all of these ‘exciting’ things to happen.
I just want to enjoy this simple time home with the kids! I know I can make it happen if only M would play along with me. Maybe we should try and arrange for her to go to your folks, somewhere.
I need to shake it off and refocus. Another day to get through, with a smile on my face and contentment in my heart. That’s all I want! Oh, and I am convinced tomorrow the expense money WILL be in. Optimism works for me.
Talk to you soon, baby,
love – me
breathe. smile. repeat
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