one year

One year ago today I said goodbye to my Mom.

One year ago today I spent the day with my dad, sister, brother and uncle . . . gathered around my Mom, comforting her while she slipped into sleep, then death.

One year ago today I walked out of the nursing home room clutching my Mom's glasses, her blanket and an emptiness I will hang on to forever.

I miss you, Mom

My thoughts and feelings today are hard to explain, so I found the eulogy I gave at her burial.  It is a letter I wrote to her grandchildren and best describes what I feel my Mom would have wanted them to know and carry in their hearts.

Dear Maddi, Ellie, Ben, Alyssa, Maren and Megan,

 

Today we are here to honor the life of Grandma Sue.  To lay her remains next to her father, mother and brother; as was her wish.  We will do and say all things in her memory today.

 

Grandma Sue had many wishes.  One of the greatest was to know you, love you, and see you grow and prosper.  

Since Grandma is no longer here on earth to see her wishes come to be, it falls to her children to carry those wishes in our hearts and share them with you.

 

My wish and prayer today is for you  to know, really know, just how much Grandma Sue loved you.  I know this based not only on her words, but by her actions as a mother to me, Jessie and Jon.  Grandma adored being a mother and took joy in caring for us as we were children.  She showed us love through countless hugs and kisses, by kneeling aside our bed to rub our backs when we were troubled, and by spending many hours in the kitchen creating what have come to be our favorite foods.

 

Grandma showed her love for her children by caring.  Always offering open arms, ready for an embrace to share in our sorrows and celebrate our joys.  Jessie, Jon and I know how to offer comfort to you because we learned it from how Grandma showed her love to us . . . . physical and obvious,  never saying we were too old or getting too big to receive her hugs.

My wish and prayer today is for you to know the strength and grace it took for Grandma Sue to show her love to you.   I do not want you to remember Grandma as she was sick, but to know her by the stories we will share and the gifts she left IN you.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

Gifts like her laughter.  Did you know every time you laugh and giggle a little part of Grandma is laughing too?  Grandma loved to laugh.  Sometimes with a closed mouth smirk and a twinkle in her eyes, other times with a sly snicker but most often she let loose with a loud, belly heaving, air catching cackle that made everyone within earshot smile.  If you ever forget the sounds, or if you are too little to remember, simply tell a joke or make a funny face or tickle your parents to experience Grandma Sue's laughter through our mouths.  Laughter is such a great gift to be able to share, and you have Grandma to thank for sharing with you.

Romans 12:4-6

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith;

Another gift Grandma left in you was a desire to clean and organize.  You may not know it yet, but there is a special talent to making things nice and tidy.  Grandma shared with us when we were children, exactly how to make-up a proper bed (learned from HER father, Grandpa Mahan, just how to make 'hospital' corners with the sheets nice and tight).  She also taught her children how to dust, vacuum (lines!  don't step on the freshly made vacuumed lines!), wash a floor on your hands and knees (the proper way), and clean a bathroom faucet to make it shine.  You may not appreciate being the recipient of such knowledge, as these tasks are often thought of as dreaded chores, but learning how to take care good care of things and picking up after yourself will serve you and your future families.

In her own way, Grandma was teaching us from:

Deuteronomy 15:10
Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to

Inside of you, her beautiful grandchildren, Grandma gave you the desire to try, and try again.  Perseverance.  She was troubled by so many internal struggles that caused her to stumble and fall so many times, but she was always willing to stand up and try again.  An old Chinese Proverb states that "failure is not falling down but refusing to get up."  I believe Grandma tried, and tried again until God told her she could rest.  Her body was tired and worn out from her battles.  Up until her last hours on earth she was attempting to "get up and get moving", in an effort to try, try again.

Philippians 3:20-21
But our commonwealth is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will change our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power which enables him even to subject all things to himself.

 

Now in heaven, Grandma has a glorious body that knows no pain.  She is free from the heavy burden it took to keep her ailing body alive.  I believe it was God's will whispered to Grandma that she turn to Him and asked for relief.  For His will be carried out and her eternal life with Him to begin sooner than later.

Timothy 4:6-8
For I am already on the point of being sacrificed; the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

 

When you are older, as Maddi is now, I hope we share with you the story of our last couple of days with Grandma Sue.  Chased by fear and anxieties for most of her life, God whisked those burdens away and replaced it with peace.  We want you to know that Grandma was able to enjoy and participate in conversations and memories with us.  We want you to know she laughed.  We want you to know she tried to keep herself from falling asleep because didn't want to miss out on any of the conversations.  We want you to know how happy she was to be free from dialysis and how she was able to enjoy the foods and drinks she desired.  We want you to know one of her last wishes was to have her children & her brother with her as she transitioned to eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven.  We want you to know how God blessed Grandma with a peaceful journey.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.  What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the sons of men to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time; also he has put eternity into man's mind, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

Grandma Sue would want you to know while she was sad to leave us behind, but she was ready for this next season to join her heavenly father, and the many loved ones who had left before her.  She would want you to know God and learn about all the promises He has made for those who ask for a relationship with Him.  She would want you to know she loves you and wants you to hear her life story.  She would want you to know some of the best life lessons come from greatest human struggles. 

She wants you to remember to try, and try again. And when you feel like you alone and helpless to turn to God to walk with you or carry you through.  It doesn't matter how late in life you reach out to Him, He will be right there with eternal open arms.

Traditional Christian Prayer

God of all consolation,
In your unending love and mercy for us
You turn the darkness of death
Into the dawn of new life
Show compassion to your people in their sorrow.

Be our refuge and our strength
To lift us from the darkness of this grief
to the peace and light of your presence.

Your son, our Lord Jesus Christ,
By dying for us, conquered death
And by rising again, restored life.

May we then go forward eagerly to meet him,
And after our life on earth
Be reunited with our brothers and sisters
Where every tear will be wiped away

Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. 

you'll shoot your eye out

google image search

Best. Movie. E-V-E-R.

Safety glasses will drastically reduce the chances of shooting your eye out.  Add in some earplugs to reduce hearing damage, and shooting becomes almost safe enough for a Mom like me to be okay Maddi's new love . . . . target shooting with a Browning Buckmark 22 pistol. 

Eeeekkkk!

Why not something a little more safe?  Like crocheting, or yoga, or speed walking?

"Because, Mom, shooting is safe when you are education about your weapon and know the rules of the shooting range." Says my sweet little (well, now taller than me) brown-eyed first born.

::le sigh::

Not only does she love hitting targets, she loves the sport of shooting.  So much so, she mustered up the confidence to enter her first steel challenge.

Take a look: (have to click on the link . . . for some reason I could not get the video to embed in the post)

Video from Dave's phone . . . a little jumpy and the sound isn't so great, but you can tell what is happening.

The gentleman behind her is holding up a device that tells Maddi when to start, when to stop, and times how long it takes her to shoot 5 steel targets.

Yeah, I am pretty stinkin' proud. 

I still wish she would take up writing, or photography, or drawing . . . . . oh wait, she does all those things, too.  It's all about the balance, right?!

saying goodbye

 

Bertha Winifred

November 2003 - March 2012

2000 Ford Winstar Minivan

beloved transporter

holder of precious cargo

and a talented musical friend

you will be missed!

 

I apologize for all the times we rode you hard and put you away wet

I apologize for all the bad names I called you

I apologize for breaking your armrest and never replacing it

I apologize for for the puke and other 'mystery liquids' we left on your floor

I apologize for letting you get all rusty

And, I apologize for trading you in without proper warning

But . . . . we must day goodbye to make room for:

<< Name not yet determined >>

March 2012 - at least 10 years from now

2007 Toyota Sienna

our new 'swagger wagon' ride

Hello and welcome!

* I will be holding a contest later this week to give our new miniature van a name. A gift will be the prize, so you don't want to miss out on this fine opportunity!

lest you think

Lest you think Ellie has all the fun doing math.

Lest you think my oldest, Maddi, doesn't really exist due to lack of photos

(she throws her hands up to her face and turns when a camera is aimed in her general direction)

Lest you think Ellie's Type 1 Diabetes is well managed and 'under control' or 'getting better' . . . this is what the last 2 days have looked like.

Lest you think I am going to go cRaZy, this verse was whispering in my ear upon waking this morning.

wordless'ish wednesday

~ The Schuhmacher Family needs your prayers

~ Find their story on facebook

~ Read Meri's blog, Our Diabetic Life

"Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”(Matthew 18:19-20 ESV)

Back on the blog wagon

I am ready to hop back on the blog wagon.  You see, when I jumped off last November I intended to be back on after the holiday season.  When I exited, however, I caught my foot on the rail and smacked my head against the wheel.  Once I woke from passing out, I found the wagon had stopped and backed up over me in an attempt to loosen the hold of my shoe.  It worked.  I spent quite awhile in surgery, then recovery, and finally back home to lick my wounds.  Yep . . . I am ready to get back on the blog wagon; and that driver better watch his back.

Because I love a post with lots of pictures, this first post will not disappoint. 

May I present "Where the heck have you been and what in tar-nation have you been doing?" in cartoon drawings (credit to google image search / nataliedee)

To sum up . . . the break was nice but way too long.  I neglected my needs, my space here, and the ability to define myself outside of my roles as wife, mother, teacher, pancreas, and cRaZy cat lady.  As I have said before, it's all about the balance.  I need to find that sweet spot of tension where all is humming along AND I have time for myself.

I miss my blogging friends (Thanks to Denise, Nikki and Joanne for shouting out to me and making sure I hadn't fallen off a cliff.  Sorry to not respond . . . I was still sorting things out.)

I miss writing about my days and happenings.

I miss telling the family to 'leave me alone while I blog'.

I miss me.  I hope this brings me back in the right direction to finding myself . . . cause if I want an AWSCHUM life, 'I' have to be right in the center!!!!!

market day

Today Maddi and I woke up, grabbed the market cart and headed to the downtown Farmer's Market.  It was rainy and a little chilly, but that certainly didn't keep the crowds away.  The vendors are full of fresh spring veggies and beautiful flowers.  The smells of hot skillets full of breakfast goodness wafted through the air as we made our way down the middle of the court. 

new t-shirt, apron, goat cheese (chive feta, roasted red pepper and chipotle chevre), eggs (not pictured) and pak choi from BGF, and finally; radishes, spinach, onions and carrots from another vendor (oops, forgot to take notice of name)

After getting soaked by the rain, Maddi and I scooted up close to some buildings for shelter and were pleasantly surprised to find Market Days had moved! (inside the Kirkwood Hotel Building for local folks - across from Farm Boys Breakfast Burritos)  

Mads and I skipped into the building and enjoyed browsing the 20+ artisan booths.  I wish I could put into words the fabulousity of the creative ideas on display for sale in this building.  You simply must visit if you are in town and check it out for yourself. 

Remember this photo from last year?:

Just the most awshumness costume e-v-e-r!!!!  Mads and I walked over to a booth and after looking at the artist's creations, I just had to ask her if she was the woman behind the granny square monster creation . . . . YES!

May I introduce Meg Corcoran of scribblenest (the beautiful lady in black)

I absolutely love meeting and chatting with these one-of-a-kind artists.  I told Meg I wanted to spend a couple of days just hanging out in her brain so I feel what it was like to be so creative.  She laughed and told me it would be nice to have the company ;)

I have to admit, I was not completely in the mood to go shopping with my girl today.  Once I caffeine'd up and got in the car my spirits lifted.  Maddi started talking about how excited she was to see all the booths so she could get inspiration for new ideas.  Hanging out with Maddi is like a big blast of sunshine . . . . . you can't help but smile, nod and play along.  I am grateful to have spent the day browsing, buying, laughing, skipping and road-tripping along with my Maddi girl.

firsts

Today is the first Mother's Day I am without my Mom.

Today is the first Mother's Day I am a D-Mom.

Today is the first Mother's Day our entire family rode their own bike.

Today is the first Mother's Day Ben and Ellie made me pancakes.

Today, this Mother's Day, I am grateful I get to be a daughter, a wife, a mother, and friend.  First things first . . . . eucharisteo.  May I always have days filled with firsts.

blog break

It is official.  I have ignored my blog and my Google Reader feed for over a week now and I need to commit to making a decision.

I. Need. A. Break.

I need a break from the computer and the subsequent space-time vortex scenerios I find myself in WAY too often.

March is a busy month around here and I don't want to drop the ball or do anything with less than stellar motivation because I have spent too much time in front of the screen.

I will MISS catching up, reading and commenting about the lives of my T1D families. 

I will MISS loading up on inspiration from my favorite crafty bloggers.

I will MISS the spiritual insights and thoughts of my best JG's.

But,

I will have the time month to live with purpose and apply integrity to my commitments on the calendar.

I will return with a fresh perspective and an abundance of energy in mid-April;

. . . . . . .

until then, peaceful blessings.

good fridays

This week's entry for 'good fridays' will contain more eye candy than words.  I am recuperating from being hit by a semi-truck of germs that caused my joints to be sore and my head to be stuck to a pillow.  I am convinced the germs of 2011 are some of the strangest critters on the planet and are wreaking havoc in our home.  I am thankful I survived (I know, I am a drama queen) and can think of 3 things to be thankful for from the last week.

1.  Last Saturday we took a family trip to the State Historical Society.  What a gem of a place!  We will be back . . .

2.  Maddi and I attended a Valentine Dance for 'Circle of Friends', a group who serves the special needs community of our school district.  Here Maddi is seen playing ball with one of her favorite kids, Jeffrey.

3.  Monday morning was a no-school day and in true fashion, the younger kiddos did not take advantage of sleeping in.  Fortunately they are old enough to keep themselves entertained while I keep the bed warm.  I awoke to silence and was worried they had been abducted.  No fear!  They were found in the living room quietly reading. 

What are your 3 thankful things from the past week?

receiving is pretty awesome, too

Being a parent of a child with a chronic illness, I often find myself depleted and exhausted.  The simple nature of T1D is you must give over and over again 24 hours a day 7 days a week 52 weeks of the year . . . you get the picture.

- I give sleep to blood sugar tests in the middle of the night

- I give time to keep supplies in stock, make phone calls, attend medical appointments, perform finger pokes and administer insulin

- I give brain cells over to the constant calculation of carbohydrates

- I give money (okay; I give my husband's money) to purchase medicine and testing supplies

- I give advice and opinions about T1D to those brave enough to ask

- I give sympathy to the thousands of other T1D parents who give as I do


I give all of these things with a grateful heart that I have someone to give them TO.

But . . . .

Sometimes receiving is pretty awesome, too.

Boy did I ever receive ;)  What you see here is one Bosch T20 Tassimo coffee maker, one red-colored accessory plate, one package of Starbucks cappuccino primo T-discs and one package of Gevalia Signature Blend T-discs. 

And the best part?  It. won. the. whole. darn. thing.

Ha!

All I did was enter a giveaway on another T1D blog.  The fabulous Leighann of D-Mom Blog wanted to give one lucky commenter (me!) an opportunity to be fully caffeinated at all times.  *Bless her heart

This type of winning fun can be had by anyone, really.  All you have to do is comment on a blog post or share it on Facebook / Twitter / your lawn sign for extra entries.  In fact, several T1D blogger participate in a quasi-weekly 'Sugar Bolus' by either hosting or participating!  I will be hosting my very own giveaway in April . . . . paying it forward is the most rewarding part of the whole deal anyway. 

This week for instance, Hallie over at Princess and the Pump is hosting a giveaway for a really sweet Skidaddle supply bag!  GO ENTER NOW!

If you want more information about these great giveaways, visit Wendy over at Candy Hearts and see what it is all about.  *I'll give you a hint:  It's all about getting a chance to receive something awesome with no pressure to return the action - but I bet you will want to.

My 'Joy' Station. 

I have been choosing joy several times a day. Good thing T-discs come in decaf and tea varieties or I would be bouncing off the walls!

the day my blog saved me from jury duty

Let's talk Jury Duty.  The first time I was summoned by mail we lived in Omaha Nebraska (go Huskers!).  I was pregnant with my first child and was on complete bed rest for pre-term labor and pregnancy induced high blood pressure.  Suffice it to say, the county accepted my request for a deferment.

The second time I was called for Jury Duty we were living in Ankeny Iowa and had just given birth to my 2nd daughter, Ellie.  I was breastfeeding and once again my deferment request went through without so much as a second glance.

When the third request hit my mailbox a couple of months ago, I am ashamed to admit I immediately decided I would request to be excused from serving.  My list of excuses included:

1.  I have a child with a chronic illness.

2.  I cannot turn my cell phone off because the school nurse may need to get a hold of me.

3.  The courthouse is 15 miles away and I can't be that far away from my T1D child.

4.  No one else can provide care for my child like I can.  She NEEDS me.

While all of these reasons have a ring of truth around them, not one of them are reason enough for me to not participate in my civic responsibility.  The truth of the matter is I did not want to relinquish care responsibilities to anyone else; even though my husband is more than capable and our school nurse is available all day, every day at our school.

Hhhhmmmppppphhh.

Reality bites sometimes.

So, Monday morning I arrived at the county courthouse ready and willing to serve my one trial / one week duty; whichever was longer. 

Soon I was sardine packed tight into a row of strangers and silently wondered if I had remembered to put on my deodorant.  More importantly, I had to wonder if the other 200 public servants had remembered to use theirs.

After watching a 15 minutes video and listening to a brief welcome statement from a judge, I sat back on my bench and settled in until my number was called.

I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  I was thankful for Sprint's 3G service on my smartphone to keep me entertained and up to date with my favorite blogs.

Finally my ticket was up and I, along with 74 other soon-to-be jurors, walked into a courtroom and ........ well, we waited.  Then we filled out a questionnaire and were dismissed for a 2 hour lunch.  Once back, we ....... you guessed it ...... waited some more.  The attorneys wanted to speak with some people individually and slowly the group of 75 whittled down to 50.  By this time it was late afternoon so we were dismissed until 9am Tuesday morning.

After having so much down-time the day before, I decided to come prepared with my bible study materials, a book and a fully charged phone to the courthouse the next day.  About an hour into waiting we were summoned into the courtroom and were told the attorneys for the state and the defendant (self represented) would ask us questions and we were to answer in front of everyone else.  Some questions were pretty innocent, but others were quite personal and I felt for those who were visible uncomfortable having to answer in public.  This went on for a couple of hours until they dismissed another 25 potential jurors.  I was not one of them.

Following a quick lunch break, the judge announced the trial would last at least into the end of next week.  I started to panic.  My husband was taking some personal time from work to fill in for my absence, but we were certainly not prepared for this amount of time.  While I wanted to serve on a jury, I couldn't wrap my mind around trying to make this work. 

Then the defendant asked the pool of would-be-jurors about blogs.  In particular, he asked if anyone in the room was a b-l-o-g-g-e-r.  I shot my hand up, expecting to be one of many, but was startled to discover my hand was waving solo.  He asked my if I would mind sharing about what I write about on my blog.  Certainly!  I spoke loud and clear about how I write about how my daughter and our family live with Type 1 Diabetes.  I educate, share stories and advocate for a cure for the disease and am part of a large online community who supports one another.

After I stepped off my podium, um I mean stopped speaking, I noticed one of the prosecutors for the state picked up a pen and drew a line through something on a page that looked a lot like a list of our names. 

Shortly thereafter I, along with 8 other people, were dismissed from serving on that criminal trial and officially released from serving any more of our one week duty.  Yep, the clerk validated my parking and I was free to go home and resume my everyday exciting life.

I have to admit at first I was disappointed about not being chosen.  Kind of like back in junior high when you stood waiting to be called for a sport's team.  But them I shook my head and cleared out all the crazy thoughts and c-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e-d that I was released.

Woo-Hoo!!!!!!!

And that is why I have been absent from commenting on all the fabulous posts this week.  Two days away and then 2 days to catch up on the home front.  Hopefully I will get to my favorite things by tomorrow?!

good intentions

I could sum up this week with the phrase; "Well, I had good intentions!"  Don't we all, really?  Let's recap:

Monday - I offered to give a ride home from school to one of my friend's daughter since Mom was off sipping umbrella drinks on a beach.  Hey, it's her honeymoon . . . . I wasn't too jealous.  I arrived early but somehow got stuck in the slow lane and the daughter gave up on me and walked home instead.  "Well, I had good intentions!"

Tuesday - A day set aside for me and my sidekick, Ceesa, to road trip.  This is when I turn into Thelma and she, Louise.  We hop in one of our miniature vans and pinkie swear to be silly and care free.  It had been so long since we made time for each other, however, that we had too much to catch up on and not enough highway.  I tried my best and took the camera along so you can see for yourself:

1.  Workmen looking down a sewer hole.  I found it funny at the time?

2.  Ceesa's :: ahem, I mean Louise's :: husband forgot his cell phone so we stopped by his office to deliver it.  Look, He's a Husker fan!

3.  Me with a 1 pound bar of chocolate at Trader Joe's.  Not purchased.

4.  A stop by the Apple store at the mall for a new power cord.  These floating app cards made me smile.

5.  Louise's favorite store; Walgreen's.  She states you can find anything and everything you would ever need at this place.  Challenge?!

6.  Big thumbs down to the spice store, Penzey's.  Neither of us had been to the place so we were excited about a new find.  Unfortunately our noses wrinkled and our heads snapped back with most of the samples.  Maybe the spices were stale?

Somewhere in the middle of all that we stopped at Panera's for lunch.  I ordered their new Thai chopped chicken salad.  It tasted fine, but later in the evening my digestive system decided it didn't like the Thai salad and my headache proved the spices in the store too much.  I felt pretty yucky for about 24 hours.  Hhhhhmmmmm.  "Well, I had good intentions!"

Wednesday - The calendar said I was to do housework and then meet a couple of D-mom's for coffee to go over some 504 Plan examples.  Ben's high fever and cough swiped my plans clean off the table and I switched roles to comfort my sick little man.  "Well, I had good intentions!"

Thursday - Ahhhhhhh.  My morning to meet with my favorite JG's (Jesus Girls) and spend the morning in fellowship and prayer for our school aged kids (MITI). The coffee is awesome and one of the gals just had a baby boy 'squee'  whom I love to snuggle. Then I was scheduled to go to Ceesa's home to watch the intro to a Beth Moore bible study we decided to get in on . . . . Daniel:  Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy.  Guess what!  Yep.  Ben still sick.  My prayers were in solitude this day.  "Well, I had good intentions!"

Friday - Finally!  A day to grocery shop, catch up on laundry, open the windows and clear out the sicky germs.  AND, a reschedule of Wednesday's meet-up for coffee and D-talk.  Um . . . . Kaploey!  Ben. is. still. sick.  "Well, I had good intentions!"

The good news is Ben is on the mend and the ugly virus finally released it's grip in him.  The not so good news is I felt trapped in world of repeat, much like a record skipping on the same track. 

The good news is it is Friday and my handsome side-kick will be home shortly to give me a much needed respite from sick care.  The not so great news is the house is in such a disarray it will take all hands on deck to whip it back into shape.

The good news is a fresh new week is on the horizon.  The not so great news is I will be spending it on  . . . . . . JURY DUTY!!!!

the journey

I just finished reading a post by the painfully beautiful Meri over at Our Diabetic Life.  It wasn't so much what she wrote, but how it made me feel after reading it.  It made me r-e-f-l-e-c-t-i-v-e. 

The phrase "Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it" by Greg Anderson is one of my favorites. Those words often have the power to knock me out of a bad mood when I am stuck in a rut of negative thoughts.

As I am reminded of these powerful words, I feel motivated to spend some time in thought about the changes our family has gone through over the last year and remind myself how much joy was had in the journey.

A couple of years ago Dave and I wanted to put some thought, time and humor into our annual Christmas card.  What started out as a small project turned into a wonderful day with the kids and each other.  The memory, not the resulting photo card, is what remains in my thoughts.

2008 - This will only be funny if you have seen "A Christmas Story"

And while last year's card did not actually feature a typical photo of all of us, the process of coming up with the idea and making the Mii's was a memorable time.

2009 - front

2009 - back

This year was no different.  A few months ago we began brain storming about what we wanted to do.  The kids all had and suggestions, however not nearly enough of the ideas were feasible. But that's not the point!  The process of talking through it all is a great memory just in and of itself.

2010 - outtakes from our 1950's Christmas by the Piano

We ended selecting a folded card that looked like this:

Many of you have already seen these images, or have received a card in the mail, but I am just so happy with how everything turned out that I had to share one last time.

Gathering the clothes from Goodwill, borrowing accessories from others, begging the talents of a wonderful friend and lay photographer, setting up the scene and laughing with the kids as we coiffed their manes all 50's style was so much fun. Maddi even has a Bumpits hidden on her head thanks to another resourceful friend.

The point is, we had a blast that day and even if the photos had not turned out perfectly or the end product was not when we had envisioned.

Joy was had by all.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!  I will be away from the computer (hopefully) and enjoying time spent with my family and friends. 

Stay warm, be happy and don't worry about the details!

really?

I like to use the word 'really' when another option would be to ask the question: 'Are your serious?'

I know!  I am totally unique.  The word-used-as-a-question is only over-used because other people wear it out.  True statement; just ask my family!

Today I am in a mood to start most of my conversations with 'really? .......'.  Allow me to provide some examples:

"Really?  I still have goopy snot stuck in the back of my throat?  It's only been like 7 days and 2 million hawky coughs and WAY too many pills to thin it out.


or


"Really?  Why does my son have to crawl back under the covers after breakfast and make me into the mean mom be having to raise my voice and sound empty threats about Santa watching.  Just get dressed, dude.  It's Tuesday.  School.  Again."


and


"Really?  How did I forget to grab 1/2 n 1/2 for my coffee at the store yesterday?  I believe it is the reason I went there in the first place!"


don't forget


"Really?  I thought you got a flu shot.  Sore throat, headache, no appetite, fever . . . . . . crap.  You have diabetes, you can not have the flu!  Ack.  Crawl back under the covers.  It's Tuesday.  No School for you."


let's throw in


"Really?  I just did the laundry!"


just for fun


"Really?  What makes you think just because you have a big car, that probably costs more per month than my house payment, you can cut in front of everyone in the school drop off lane????????"


lastly


"Really?  Pimples?  The big kind that hurt?  At 38 years old?  COME ON!"


What is your 'really' today??????

confessions

I realize the Thanksgiving holiday is a time to reflect upon blessings . . . . and to eat boat loads of food . . . but I count my blessings everyday.

Really, I do!

I make myself visualize all the good things in order to not go crazy-insane with all the 'non-blessings' that pop up on a regular basis.

:: picture me with fingers plugging my ears, head down, eyes closed, rocking back and forth while whispering nonsense ::

Yep, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y.

So, I am not going to write about all my blessings. 

Instead, I am going to post a few confessions in the interest of full disclosure.

Why?

Because I am betting you need a laugh or two after eating too much, spending way too much time with relatives, shopping until your wallet is empty, cooking for 42 hours straight, etc.

Confession #1:  I like graphs.  Life would be soooooooo much easier is lessons were wrapped up in a pie chart

photo credit

 

Confession #2:  I don't think the best sound in the world is my children laughing.  I prefer the silence of when they are sleeping.

Confession #3:  I like to watch the A&E show, Intervention.  It makes my life look soooooooo good.

photo credit

Confession #4":  I miss smoking.  It's been 1 year since I quit and yes, I feel fabulous in so many ways, but I still miss it. 

photo credit

Confession #5:  I feel guilty when I am grateful for Ellie having T1 diabetes.  Not for the specific disease, per say, but for the closeness the two of us have.  I am also grateful for the community of people we have been pulled into and supported by.  Our world has expanded and I wouldn't wish different.

Shoot.  I didn't want to count blessings.  Now I have gone and ruined the whole post.  Crapolina.

Here's another pie chart to make up for it:

photo credit